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:iconmakoto-chiyoru: More from makoto-chiyoru


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Literature by IIIVAxelVIII


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Submitted on
May 13, 2012
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I tuck and I bind,
I pack and I grind,
But still somehow
I cannot find
The man inside
He wants out,
Let him free!
But he knows what you
Expect him to be
So I try to exceed
What you think of me
And make you change
How your thinking sees
Just a girl with small boobs
and a sock in her pants
But that's not me
You're just in a trance
Society's made you
Feel what they feel
And think what they think
Until it's not real
To hope that someday
You'll be who you need
Who you want
Who you feel
You really should be.
So I write this story
In hopes you'll find
That I'm still me
Whether I bind
Or hold my head high
Or look like a man
Because I look past it;
I know that I can.
This is my writing about being a Transman. The picture I posted is my latest tat.
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:iconn-b-r-artwork:
N-B-R-artwork Featured By Owner May 6, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I really relate to this, thank you for sharing such a lovely piece of literature.
Especially this part:
'But he knows what you
Expect him to be
So I try to exceed
What you think of me'
Reply
:iconcharlenexxx:
charlenexxx Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2013
Ok, I've read ur poem, and it's from ur Heart, it is very well written! It does convey very well what is n ur heart and thoughts! And no, don't let the way I'm starting this comment scare u! I, of all people am not gonna browbeat u! It's just that I've read 3 pages of comments, and now I gotta put my 2 cents n! If u notice my icon, I'm weird n kinky too! Ur a girl, who wants to be a guy, well guess what, I'm a guy who wants to be a girl, Go figure, eh! When I was about 4 or 5 my mom put a red frilly dress on me, for what reason? IDK? Don't remember! When I was n grade school, I played more with de girls than w/ de boys! Patty cake, jump rope, etc. I liked girl things, no, didn't go so far as to play w/ dolls! But I also did a lot of self bondage, a very young age. When I got to my early teens I'd dress up n moms clothes, while she was @ work, a little later mom would give me her heels to break in, but yet I'd still try to get into a girls pants, if u kno what I mean! I can remember when I was about 6 , I started shaving my legs! Been shaving pretty much as long as I can remember! Never considered having a guy to guy thing, Yuk! But on the streets as a homeless hippie, always n need o money, when I got hit on, and for de money I' cave n, but never reciprocate! Yuk! But I like girly things, n when I see a ( brick house) I just shudder n sorta cry, why can't I be like her! Oh that I could feel the female flesh between my legs, n the pretty bumps on my chest, n that sweet hot ass be my own! I'd give anything to kno what female flesh feels like to live n! Even the bleeding n cramps, cause that's all part of it! Being a girl! N being pretty n soft n sexy, n de pretty clothes n etc.! Men r for de most part ugly, inconsiderate slobs, their gruff n vulgar, n for de most part not very appreciative of women ! Not all men! But men n general! If I were genetic, I'd be damned selective of men! But let's not leave de woman outta de nasty equation ! Girls r bitchy, competitive, n down right backstabbing! U don't wear de right outfit, or shoes, or etc, she's a skank or a whore! No respect! Yeah so why would I wanna be a girl! So why would u wanna be a guy? Is the grass really that much greener???? IDK! But I do kno de DEEP longing n desire, n de disdain for ones own flesh! Trust me I DO understand! But just where does that put us on de spiritual plane! Where does that sit with the one who created us? Who formed us, who knew us BEFORE we were in de womb? IDK I have lots o questions myself! I've prayed fasted begged n cried out! But I'm still a guy! Even if either of us went de distance, ( hormones surgery etc) de DNA stamp wouldn't change! We're still what we r born with! U can't change de genetics of a dog to be a cat, or visa versa! I know it's a tragic limbo to be in! And we, u n I r not alone! But where u n I may differ, is that I Know that my Father loves me, no matter how screwed up my thinking or desire is, He Still Loves Me! And yes, He Loves u to, so very much, that He Sent His Son to pay for our penalties! U see God Loves Us, just not what we do! Like taking things outta nature, outta context! Outta His natural scope of things! Don't worry I'm including myself here too! I really wish I could really convey just how much GOD really loves His Creation, u n me, n all de rest o us n dis trans boat! I mean some of us have genuine desires to be changed. And some have very wicked desires n reasons, to be changed! And that's an other branch to climb, only one branch at a time!" As far as religion goes, I'm a Christian, and religion sucks! Out right sucks!" Religion is mans vain n controlling attempt to play God! Plain n simple! U know, u girls always wanna talk about relationships! Well I'll tell ya, y'all got nothing on relationships , that Jesus didn't already fix! Because that is just exactly what He died for to fix! The Broken Relationship between God n man! Jesus hated, no dispised the religious piousity n religious traditions, that cause men to be bound in sin n slavery! He also dispises hypocracy, u should read how He chastised the scribes n religious sect of the day . Bottom line here! Come to God, through Jesus, Just As You Are, He Loves Us, All of Us just the way we are! Pour your heart out to Him, ! I do! I may not get all the answers I want, lots o things I really don't understand why, But for the most part, I have the peace of knowing He loves me, and that I am His child! Well that was a long 2 cents worth, n I most sincerely hope it'll help! May you go in the peace and Love of Christ! And find ur way to the Kingdom through Him! And find the peace ur heart that u r so desperately crying out for! And me too!
Reply
:iconmakoto-chiyoru:
makoto-chiyoru Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Look, I appreciate that you put in the time and the effort to write all that out. That's awesome, and the love you have for your god is awesome, but I'm afraid I must inform you that, though I'm not Christian, I am religious in a different way. I love my gods and know that they put me here for a reason and intended for me to be this way. I appreciate what you want to do for me and my immortal soul, honestly, I really do appreciate it. But I have found the religion that makes the most sense to me; the one that's right for me. I'm at peace with my temporary physical problems because I know that my soul has no gender and the gods can get confused sometimes, and that they allowed for us to become so brilliant that we might be able to transform that which was once a female into, in all intents and purposes, a male. I'm thankful that my gods have been so kind to me as to let my mother and her family be accepting of me for who I am, and I'm just generally happy with my life. Thank you again for your offer, but I'm afraid I'll have to decline.

On a different note, I hope that you're able to continue your transition happily. I'm pleased that you understand that, clearly, your god made you this way for a reason and loves you regardless. That's effin' cool.
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:iconanobouzu:
anobouzu Featured By Owner May 19, 2012
Right on, brother. I can't stand it when people give me dirty looks because I tell them I'm a transman yet I don't fit what society has told them what trans people are. We aren't just a cookie-cut design. And even though I try my hardest to express physically how I am on the inside, people still aren't satisfied, when really, I sit back and think, I shouldn't be trying to satisfy anyone - and same for anyone in the Trans community - it's about feeling comfortable being ourselves.

Great poem. :iconbrofistplz:
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:iconmakoto-chiyoru:
makoto-chiyoru Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks, man.

:iconbrofist4plz:
Reply
:iconlexluvs2write:
LexLuvs2Write Featured By Owner May 15, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
This is a beautiful and inspiring piece, I loved it.. I really hope that people of this world can just let go of their... shrewdness? (is that the word?)... and just let people be happy how they want-no- need. But I hope your journey becomes easier, and I'm praying you have the strength to face all the trials -as I will not pretend there aren't any-. Much love for this amazing piece of literature <3
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:iconmakoto-chiyoru:
makoto-chiyoru Featured By Owner May 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for your kind words and your prayers. Any thought that is a good is a thought I'll accept. :)
Reply
:iconlexluvs2write:
LexLuvs2Write Featured By Owner May 15, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Of course :D <3
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:icontelestlees:
telestlees Featured By Owner May 15, 2012
Nice! And nice tat! I'm a transman and can relate :)
Reply
:iconmakoto-chiyoru:
makoto-chiyoru Featured By Owner May 15, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for both compliments!
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